Empty Empty Empty.

I am oh so empty <3

I have eaten nothing today, I will eat nothing tomorrow. Yoga will get progressively harder but do increasingly more to help me lose. These are the needed lbs now, not extra here or there. To break 110 will be to finally turn my body from a strong dancers body to a thin girl. A thin girl who has trouble getting through a yoga sequence and feels like a weak piece of shit but refuses to do what's necessary to be strong. A thin girl who knows nothing but being thin. Some sort of thin mutation, a thin little mutt.

Thin mutts never forget how much they hate their mothers, unlike their healthy counterparts who succumb to their brief spats of kindness. Thin mutts remember when she picked you up from work drunk and thin mutts punish her for it. Thin mutts do not give in to food cravings, they suck back the salt water flush and watch as anything that once was intake is gone gone gone. Thin mutts are never thin enough. I am a thin mutt, and I'm glad to be back.

Do I wish I was thinner going back to school? Of course. But I'm not. I'm 112lbs, and were I anything but a Thin Mutt I'd realize how good I look. But I'm not, so that's irrelevant. I don't want to look good and healthy, I want to look THIN. The thin that people whisper about behind your back, commenting to their friends that you're "too skinny" but secretly wishing they could look like you too. But not everyone can commit to the Thin Mutt way, some are too happy and too healthy.

And others.... well you know about them better than anyone, Angels.
Charlie