Something is off. I have only been fasting a day but I feel dizzy and out of focus. My head hurts and I have almost passed out twice already. Given, I went for an hour long run, worked out my arms, and then walked for an hour and a half to drop off videos and then to my friend's house. Then my friend and I walked some more...
Perhaps I overdid it for my first day. Perhaps I should have eased into this better considering I came very close to being found out. However, I refuse to fall back. I'm eating a bun right now, approx. 200cals and I may eat a bowl of bean soup at approx. 100cals but then the next two days are sans food. I've burned waaay more than 300cals today so I should still be okay. I hope. Oh god please.
I am worried. I hope this was just a one time thing because I refuse to give up liquid fasts. I can't just restrict, it's not good enough. I will never drop as many pounds as I want by just restricting. I NEED to fast. I need to feel my stomach growl. I need to go to sleep feeling light and empty. I want to see more of my hip bones. I want my thighs to shrink to the size of my calves. I want my arms to be thin as rails. I want to hear people tell me I am too thin. I want my mother to worry. I want all of these things more than I want to be healthy. I want these things even though I know it will hurt my family; my grandmothers, my brother, my cousins. I want to be thin so damn bad I don't care who I hurt. I don't even care if I die trying.
I am a selfish creature.
Try not to think too little of me Angels,
Charlie
Well, as your probably know staying hydrated is always a important thing when fasting. You know, it could very well be your blood sugar too. I heard it really helps to drink a glass of OJ because that stabilizes your blood sugar (you probably already knew that, but I like to be helpful ^.^).
ReplyDeleteI don't think too little of you all! Actually, I admire your determination! Sometimes I have that mental battle of restricting vs. eating healthy and right now, I want to be thin more than I want to be healthy. That's sounds bad to some people, but it's true. And I totally agree with you, sometimes restricting isn't enough, we have to fast to get the results we want. I hope you start feeling better and are able to fast like you want too! ♥